Showing posts with label married and gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married and gay. Show all posts

Nov 16, 2013

What does an ex-gay/reparative/conversion therapy leaders job look like?

One of few remaining Australia's ex-gay/reparative/conversion therapy ministries, Liberty Christian Ministries, is advertising for someone to work for the organisation (advertisement above). 

After 15 years of monitoring ex-gay organisations and knowing many ex-gay leaders (former and current), it made me think what a realistic job description might look like. Probably something like this.

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A Christian ministry, working with 'unwanted same sex attractions', seeks new leader.

Selection Criteria
Essential
  • Your same-sex-attraction must be unwanted 
  • Supernatural faith that God can make all people 'normal' (turn green eyes to blue, red hair to brown, make left handed people right handed and, of course, homosexuals heterosexual) 
  • Excellent double-speak communication skills. Example 1: Say heterosexuality is not the goal but constantly talk about being married and having children with 'proves' you are no longer gay. Example 2: Say you are a 'former homosexual' and that any thoughts or feelings you have now towards the same sex are just thoughts and temptations. 
  • Good knowledge of appropriate wording (appropriate words - homosexual, homosexuality, unwanted same-sex-attraction, sexual/relational brokenness. Inappropriate words – gay, lesbian, LGBT, sexual orientation. You can use the word gay when referring to gay activists or the 'gay lifestyle' however.) 
  • Clearly understand the 'no-one is born gay' theory but that homosexuality is caused by a strong mother/weak father and/or sexual abuse and be able to source websites and articles that demonstrate you are right (whilst ignoring latest scientific research).
  • Ability to link an individual's sexual addiction and abuse to their homosexuality and not be confused these as separate issues.
  • Be prepared to accept the highest levels of accountability to make sure you are not secretly playing up behind the scenes. 
  • Confidently and assertively communicate to people struggling with same-sex-attraction that they can never experience falling in love or having a life partner (celibacy is their calling). 
  • Highly motivated to work with people who eventually give up. 
  • Exceptional organisational skills to build a ministry that is becoming increasingly irrelevant. 
  • Must be able to quote the Sodom and Gomorrah story, Lev 18:22 & 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, I Corinthians 6:9 by heart. And also demonstrate that these verses are about homosexuals today and have nothing to do with rape, pagan practices or temple prostitution.
    Preferred
    Successful applicants will have to answer these 20 questions
    NB: No formal psychological or counseling accreditation required.
    For more information on the work of Liberty Christian Ministries read here.

    © Anthony Venn-Brown 
    Twitter: @gayambassador 

    Anthony Venn-Brown is the co-founder and former leader of Freedom2b, Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds. He is also an educator and consultant on LGBT/faith issues and leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning', details his journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and  was one of four finalists for the 2011 ACON Community Hero Award. He is also the founder and director of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International.

    Feb 10, 2013

    Why change 'homosexuality' to 'unwanted same sex attraction'

    Whilst the fundamental core beliefs (homosexuality is a flawed, unnatural human experience, a choice, a sin, and it can be changed) remain the same, many things within the ex-gay world have changed over the last four decades since its formal existence (Exodus founded 1976). The most dramatic of these being the recent rejection of the reparative therapy model.

    A more subtle and often unnoticed change has been around wording and terminology.

    For the first twenty or so years, ex-gays and attempting ex-gays used terms like 'freedom from homosexuality', 'struggling with homosexuality' or having a 'homosexual problem'. It is difficult to pin point exactly when the shift in terminology happened or who introduced it but around the late 90's and early 2000's the term 'unwanted same sex attraction' became the vernacular. Hence you will hear people describe themselves as 'struggling with unwanted same sex attraction', 'suffering from unwanted same sex attraction' or 'overcoming their same sex attraction'.

    Why the change in terminology?


    There were several reasons for the change.

    Firstly, Christian men and women who were same sex oriented didn't want to use the term homosexual let alone adopt the identity. This shift had already happened within the lesbian, gay and bisexual worlds many years before as there were too many negative connotations attached to the word homosexual. The word homosexual these days is mostly used in a clinical/academic sense (homosexual/heterosexual) or by religious anti-gay groups and people who refuse to use the term gay.  For people wanting to rid themselves of their homosexuality the term unwanted same-sex-attraction was nicer/softer.

    Secondly, using the phrase 'same sex attraction' was a way of distancing themselves from the term 'same sex orientation' that was becoming popular in academia. A sexual orientation (same, opposite or bi) is far more fundamental/innate than an attraction. Having unwanted same sex attractions could be perceived as being more about feelings, thoughts or emotions than behaviour or who you are oriented to fall in love with. The term same sex attraction is often used in academia these days, particularly with youth. The acronym LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) had a Q added to it.  This often referred to the inclusive word 'queer' but was also used for 'questioning', meaning young people still trying to sort out their identity and not able or willing to take on a gay or lesbian identity at their stage in life.

    Finally, the change to 'unwanted same sex attraction', was a way for ex-gay organisations to have the pressure taken off them from pro-gay groups. In other words they could say things like 'we only work with people who have 'unwanted' same sex attractions'.

    More recently, terms like 'sexual brokenness' or 'relational brokenness' are used to describe the same thing. If you do an analysis of 'ex-gay' stories, particularly the high profile ones, you find common elements. They ARE broken. They always include stories of sexual abuse, sexual addictions/obsessions and screwed up childhoods and relationships. What they fail to see is that their brokenness is not caused by their sexual orientation itself but their response to it including self-hatred, denial, suppression, fear, secrecy and unhealthy behaviours. No wonder they end up in such a mess.

    The term 'unwanted same sex attractions' is also being used these days on  Islamic websites and forums.

    Why is the same sex attraction 'unwanted'?


    This is the big question but pretty obvious when you think about it.
    • If you are locked in a Christian culture that is ignorant about sexual orientation then it is most likely 'unwanted'. 
    • If you have heard ill-informed sermons or messages that Sodom and Gomorrah were full of homosexuals and that God condemns it then it would be 'unwanted'. 
    • If you think that the acceptance or rejection of your sexual orientation has eternal consequences (heaven or hell)  then it would be 'unwanted'. 
    • If you think that coming out or accepting your same sex orientation will mean your family, friends or church would reject you it would be 'unwanted'. 
    • If you have only heard 'stories' about people who have 'overcome' their unwanted same sex attractions and are now married with children then it would be 'unwanted'. 
    • If you have never met a well adjusted, fulfilled gay man or women then it would be 'unwanted'
    If you want to know why the unwanted same sex attraction message is no longer relevant you can read this article. 'Spiritual Gays' ......an oxymoron?

    Peter Janetzki, on the Brisbane Christian radio station 96.5 FM, talked with Paul Wegner from Liberty Inc about unwanted same sex attraction. I think this ten minute snippet from the two hour show will give you some idea about how defensive people have become about the term 'unwanted same sex attraction'. Maybe one of the reasons they were so defensive was because of this.

    © Anthony Venn-Brown 
    Twitter: @gayambassador 

    Anthony Venn-Brown is the co-founder and former leader of Freedom2b, Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds. He is also an educator and consultant on LGBT/faith issues and leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning', details his journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and  was one of four finalists for the 2011 ACON Community Hero Award. He is also the founder and director of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International.

    Nov 4, 2012

    Ex-gay - contradictions, denial and mental gymnastics

    When people say they are struggling with unwanted same sex attraction and seek to be ex-gay, their minds play all manner of crazy tricks on them in order to keep the hope alive. Insidious denial, contradictions and mental gymnastics are the only way they can maintain the ex-gay facade. It's a sad and tragic reality to live in – two realities and neither of them fully real.

    This experience is not limited to people in ex-gay type therapy. It is also a common experience amongst gay and lesbian people in Christian churches who are closeted and tormented about their unresolved sexual orientation.

    In a BBC documentary, this young man's conversation is very common amongst people struggling with 'unwanted same sex attraction', as they call it. In one breath he talks about the cessation of his temptations when seeing an attractive guy during the day but then talks about his addiction to gay porn. Apparently he has tried to look at straight porn to overcome his gay feelings and in the hope that it might turn him on but it turns him off - 'it was kind of gross' he says. You notice how he distances himself from actually being gay by using the term 'SSA', which stands for same sex attraction.



    In Freudian psychoanalytic theory, defence mechanisms are psychological strategies brought into play by the unconscious mind to manipulate, deny, or distort reality (through processes such as repression and rationalization), and to maintain a socially acceptable self-image or self-schema. This is clearly obvious in the person who believes that their homosexuality makes them unacceptable to God and others. 

    Cognitive dissonance is a term used in modern psychology to describe the state of holding two or more conflicting cognitions (e.g., ideas, beliefs, values, emotional reactions) simultaneously. The theory of cognitive dissonance in social psychology proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by altering existing cognitions (beliefs and reality), adding new ones to create a consistent belief system, or alternatively by reducing the importance of any one of the dissonant elements. E.g. 'I am not gay or homosexual I have SSA' or 'I'm struggling with unwanted same sex attraction'. 

    I hear this constantly when I listen to ex-gay testimonials. In one breath they speak about overcoming, changing, being married or having children and in the next breath they speak about the temptations and thoughts that still exist; as if these are inconsequential. They appear oblivious to the inconsistency and irrationality of their statements. 

    Often people in ex-gay programs or reparative/conversation therapies have sort them out because they have a tortured thought life or a sexual addiction or obsession that often plays out in pornography, chat rooms, saunas or beats. There is never any real emotional connection with the other person though. Because the addicted person wants to hide it is usually brief, anonymous sexual encounters.  They are afraid of intimacy as that will touch the very heart of who they are – gay. This must be avoided at all costs.

    What the person is unaware of is that they have created a fragmented sense of self. The gay self is the secret self – the dark self which lives in a world of shame, guilt and fear . The other self is the public self that they believe is the one that will be acceptable and 'normal'. They live in two realities. 

    The other thing they  fail to realise is it that the denial, suppression and hatred of the gay self is what actually creates the addictions and obsessions.

    Coming out, for most of us, is like an exorcism that releases us of the darkness we have lived in for years and caused us to believe awful things about ourselves. On the other side of the looking glass though are freedom, light and an authentic life. :-)


    Twitter: @gayambassador



    Website: www.gayambassador.com   


    Anthony Venn-Brown is the co-founder and former leader of Freedom 2 b[e], Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds. He is also an educator and consultant on LGBT/faith issues and leader in deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth. Anthony’s autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning', details his journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and this year was one of four finalists for the ACON Community Hero Award. He is also the founder and director of Ambassadors &  Bridge Builders International ( www.gayambassador.com )  .

    Jul 23, 2012

    Australian & New Zealand Ex-gay....going .....going...g


    Nearly Two Thirds of 'Ex-gay' Ministries Disappear

    20.07.2012

    Exodus International, the make a wish foundation for self-loathing homosexuals, is in crisis.

    It began with Alan Chambers, director of 'ex-gay' ministries umbrella organisation Exodus, honest admission to a gay Christian conference in January that 99.9% of people he'd met had never actually changed their sexual orientation. Eleven ministries defected and some evangelical leaders called for Chambers resignation.

    In April this year, Dr Robert Spitzer renounced his often 'ex-gay' quoted study that sexual orientation change is possible and apologized to the gay community.

    Last month Exodus issued an official statement that it no longer supports reparative therapy. “In the past, we’ve been aligned with organizations that believe feelings can completely change, temptations can completely go away. We now believe that’s an unrealistic and unhealthy expectation that can cause a lot of damage.”, Chambers said in an interview.

    And at the opening address at the Exodus conference last week Chambers, in very contrite and sober tones, burst the bubble for many attendees admitting that Exodus had it wrong on many levels.

    What about Australia?

    A little know fact is that several years before Exodus came into existence in 1976, Australia had an 'ex-gay' ministry operating both in Sydney and Brisbane in the late 60's which was run by Moombara and Bundeena Christian Fellowships. I know, because in the early 70's I spend six months in the residential program that promised me I could become heterosexual within two years if I prayed and was committed enough to rid myself of my homosexuality.

    Australia and New Zealand's 'ex-gay' ministries have been in decline for some time. Research by Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International discovered that over sixty percent of ministries and support groups offering help for those with 'unwanted same sex attraction' have shut down in Australia and New Zealand in the last decade. At this rate, they should completely non-existent by 2020.

    The evolution of the 'ex-gay' message

    There has been a progressive white-anting of the Exodus 'change is possible' message. Initially, the Exodus message was simply God can do a miracle and freedom from homosexuality comes if you pray hard enough or have a demon cast out of you. The magic wand approach. That was phase one. When this clearly was not successful for people, ministries moved into a more therapeutic model endeavouring to bring people to a place of healing for their 'sexual and relational brokenness'. The term 'reparative therapy' was created was created at this time. Heterosexuality was still the goal.

    The most recent phase has been to admit that those with 'unwanted same sex attraction' would experience a life long struggle. It will never go away, or as one Australian 'ex-gay' leader amusingly put it to a seeker of straightness, 'you will always walk with a limp'. Not much hope in that message, is there? Especially to those wanting so desperately to be 'normal' and accepted.

    While we are talking about strange terms. What's with this ridiculous term 'unwanted same sex attraction' or sometimes abbreviated USSA? This term began to gain popularity during phase three in the 90's.  I believe this was introduced for two reasons. Firstly, to distance people from the increasingly popular scientific term 'sexual orientation' and secondly to disconnect people from a gay identity and the shame loaded word homosexual. Playing semantics doesn't change the reality though. It's not an attraction honey it's an orientation. It's in your brain wiring and hormones. It's not just a thought/temptation in the mind it's who you are and unwanted because you fear rejection of others and God if you accept it. I might have unwanted left-handedness but it doesn't change the fact that I am.

    In 2000, the most prominent 'ex-gay' organisation in the UK, Courage, run by Jeremy Marks, walked away from Exodus and became gay affirming. The same thing happened with New Directions Ministries, run by Wendy Gritter, in Canada in 2009.

    The Australian story

    Australia's 'ex-gay' movement had a brief love affair with Exodus from 1978 to the late 80's and it looked like they had joined the growing band of ministries raised up by God to cure homosexuals. But all was not well. When the US based Exodus became more and more political in the 90's, Australian 'ex-gay' leaders felt increasingly uncomfortable with this and began to distance themselves. They stepped down from international positions and rarely attended conferences. They were still happy to be on the referral list though.

    We've been de-constructing the 'ex-gay' myth in Australia for some time now. It began in earnest around the mid 2000's.

    In 2007, I approached five former Australian 'ex-gay' leaders for apologies and statements about their past experience and new understanding. One of those was John Meteyard, who had just stepped down as the Exodus Asia Pacific leader. He had also been a Living Waters leader and on the International Advisory Board of Exodus. Maybe Meteyard was saying in 2007 what Chambers is saying today when he said ' In the past I have been ardent in my opinion that homosexual orientation was unquestioningly a result of the 'fall' and God's intention was therefore always to heal the same-sex attracted believer and help them to be 'whole'. In the past, I have frequently spoken publicly in support of these views. However, my position is now somewhat different. I now believe that it is crucially important that we all learn to respect the rights and choices of gay and lesbian believers as they work through the complexities of their unique situation with God in their own way and in their own time'.

    I guess in many ways Meteyard was saying in 2007 what Chambers is saying now in 2012. Maybe because Meteyard had already resigned from his leadership role in the organisation it didn't have as much impact. It didn't stop him from getting lots of criticism from his former colleagues in the ex-gay world though just as Chambers is now.

    Various journalists have gone undercover to get inside stories with varying degrees of success. One in Australia had his cover blown twice but others got through. The most successful of these overseas was Patrick Strudwick. After Strudwick's exposé of his experience, Lesley Pilkington, the counsellor in the story, had her membership revoked by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Another well-known example was the exposure of Marcus Bachmann’s counselling clinic. Bachmann, husband of presidential contender Michele Bachmann, had repeatedly denied accusations that he practised 'ex-gay' therapy. Undercover investigations proved otherwise.

    These activities in Australia has made 'ex-gay' leaders a little gun shy and find themselves now having to grill inquirers deeper just to make sure they are not another wolf in sheep clothing who will write yet another incriminating story.

    Another contributing factor has been the highly successful documentary, 'The Cure', which presented an in-depth insight into the Australian 'ex-gay' world. Not only did it have heartfelt personal stories from those who have been damaged by 'ex-gay' programs it included an interview with Ron Brookman, leader of the Living Waters program. Mr Brookman's performance was not very convincing. When asked if he still has homosexual thoughts, he seemed to get unnecessarily sidetracked talking about a recent incident when he noticed an attractive young man. According to Mr Brookman, it was the thigh that got the most attention. But it was only a thought and didn't mean he was actually gay.  When Mr Brookman appeared before the Senate Same-Sex Marriage Inquiry committee, to speak against marriage equality as a 'former' homosexual, he neglected to mention the thoughts and temptations he experiences. Instead he boasted of the 'former' homosexuals he recently performed marriages for and those who now had fathered children. I cringed, knowing the predicable path these married couples have embarked upon.

    'Ex-gay' leaders present the most insidious and complex forms of denial that exist, as they jump between two positions;. the public persona and the reality of what is happening internally. I know because I lived in that place myself for 22 years, never really acknowledging to myself the reality that nothing was changing it was only suppression of my 'unwanted same sex attraction. When my gayness reared it's 'ugly' head I completely justified it as just thoughts, temptations or desires that would, one day, completely disappear. Like them, this was my hope.

    Whilst the Australian and New Zealand gay media have increasingly given space to developments in the 'ex-gay' world, no matter how many attempts I made, the mainstream media were uninterested. Finally a story broke in the Sun Herald in 2008. This Easter, interest in The Cure documentary meant that The Melbourne Age did a front-page story and the Sun Herald a double page spread the same weekend on 'ex-gay' ministries. It wasn't pretty. Previously reluctant to talk to the media, 'ex-gay' ministry newsletters revealed they had further closed ranks and were licking their wounds. A newsletter released by Living Waters after the Easter weekend stated. "The articles, 'Healing' the Gay Worshiper’, (Sun Herald) and ‘Ministries Preying on Gay Shame’ (Sunday Age), were a mixture of ignorance, halftruths and outright lies about our ministry".

    When the ABC did a radio program on 'ex-gay' ministries this year, a media statement from Hillsong Church said, “it’s never been the church’s official position to support ‘ex-gay’ ministries” and “will not refer people to such programs”. Another journalist, was told by an 'ex-gay' ministry leader that Hillsong continue to have a good relationship with his program and makes referrals. When she approached  Hillsong for comment she immediately got this response. “Under Pastor Brian Houston's leadership, it has been made clear to all the pastoral team that they are not to refer people to such programs, We are unaware of what they are referring to” a Hillsong spokesperson said.

    Where does this leave the dwindling number of 'ex-gay' ministries in Australia? Hanging on for dear life like the proverbial shag on the rock while the rest of society, gay Christians and a growing number of churches and denominations move on to more enlightened understandings of sexual orientation.

    It's not over yet

    Don't think that it's the end just yet though. Institutions always rise when they feel threatened but it is a sign the end is nigh.

    Haydn Sennitt, pastoral worker for Liberty Christian Ministries, after attending the recent Exodus conference in the USA  wrote on their blog "No discerning person can say that Exodus’ latest changes are not having an egregious  impact" If you are not sure what 'egregious; means, it is conspicuously and outrageously bad or reprehensible; flagrant; glaring; gross; rank. In the lengthy article Sennitt sides with those who are distancing themselves with Exodus. After what appears to be a rap over the knuckles from Chambers he has mellowed a couple of incorrect comments but reaffirms his and other Australian 'ex-gay' ministry positions. Sennitt writes on his blog Exodus Sinking or Sailing, "Within Exodus and its affiliates there are many people whom I have a close and incredibly cordial relationships, such as Shirley Baskett of Exodus Asia-Pacific.  Not all, but many believe that change in sexual desire is possible and are living proof of it, as exceptional as that is; as such it is no secret that many regional and affiliated leaders are at odds with the new direction pioneered by Chambers and believe that it is not representative of their own position".

    I have often reminded people that we need to focus on the real problem. 'Ex-gay' ministries are the symptom not the cause. Here in Australia they have seldom, if ever, really promoted their programs. They exist because vulnerable, tormented Christians seek them out or are referred to the programs by churches and ministers holding on to an outdated belief that homosexuality is a choice and sin not an orientation. I just heard the story tonight of a 40 year old man who openly shared his story with a Pentecostal pastor in Brisbane. The comments made by the pastor were ignorant, cruel and destructive and sent the man into a downward spiral that included thoughts of taking his own life. I hear stories like this too regularly.

    In essence the enemy we fight is not 'ex-gay' organisations or churches, it's ignorance. We create change by focusing our energies into changing the latter instead of attacking the former.

    The most insidious thing that definitely needs attention is the online 'ex-gay' ministries. These are being accessed by young people in Australia. All this is done anonymously both by the seeker and also the person providing advice and support. We don’t know what qualifications these people have, if any. There is no duty of care. No reporting. No-one they are accountable to. They are so dangerous, I know of one young man in Sydney, Ben Gresham, who went into deep depression and attempted suicide whilst going through Door of Hope - Setting Captives Free 60 day program. Ben now tells his story I the hope that other gay and lesbian youth don’t go down the same path .Another one that should be shut down is Living Hope Ministries.

    So it is wonderful that 17 of the 27 'ex-gay' ministries in Australia and New Zealand have closed down but obviously there is still much to do.

    Shortly I will be releasing another statement by a founder and former leader of one of Australia's Exodus affiliates. Stay tuned.

    Twitter: @gayambassador

    ABOUT ANTHONY VENN-BROWN
    Anthony Venn-Brown is a founder of Freedom 2 b[e], Australia’s largest network of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) people from Christian backgrounds and is currently director of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International. He is an educator, consultant and commentator on LGBT/faith issues and been committed to deconstructing the ‘ex-gay’ myth in Australia. Anthony’s journey from married, high profile preacher in Australia’s mega-churches to living as an openly gay man is detailed in his autobiography 'A Life of Unlearning'. Anthony has been twice voted ‘One of the 25 Most Influential Gay and Lesbian Australians’ (2007 & 2009) and was one of four finalists for the 2011 ACON Community Hero Award.

    Apr 9, 2012

    'Healing' the gay worshipper


    Michael Lallo and Jonathan Swan (Sydney Morning Herald & Melbourne Age)
    April 8, 2012 .

    Sydney groups with Christian roots claim they can turn gay people straight, Michael Lallo and Jonathan Swan report.

    On the advice of his Anglican minister, and at the urging of his family, Shaun* enrolled on a course to ''cure'' himself of being gay.

    Every week for three months, he met about 40 homosexual men and women at inner-Sydney churches. They sat on pews, sang worship songs and watched videos that explained the ''causes'' of their homosexuality, which were usually linked to abuse or rejection in their childhoods. The group's leader, Christopher Keane, told of his personal journey from ''active homosexual'' to married heterosexual. To close each session they confessed their weekly sins. Admissions of gay thoughts, gay pornography and gay sex were followed by prayer.

    The organisation that treated Shaun, Liberty Christian Ministries Incorporated, based in East Balmain, is one of the three main groups in Sydney that claim to ''heal'' homosexuals - the others are Living Waters at Ramsgate and Beyond Egypt at Carlingford. There are at least 15 such outfits across Australia. Modelled on America's ''ex-gay'' groups, all have fundamentalist Christian roots. Most view homosexuality as an illness that can be cured - an approach some describe as ''pray away the gay''. At the very least, they demand abstinence from gay sex.

    Despite their controversial claims, they attract little attention, operating within insular religious communities.

    Shaun grew up in an Anglican household, and after suppressing homosexual feelings through high school, at 21, he was willing to try anything to be the heterosexual his family, church and Christian youth group wanted him to be. When he confided in a minister that he was attracted to men, the minister did some research to see what help was available. He came across Liberty Christian Ministries Incorporated.

    The three-month program cost $140, Shaun recalls, and was run by Keane, who had lived as an ''active homosexual'' for 15 years but was now happily, heterosexually married. After his successful conversion, Keane teamed up with his wife to run support groups for other Christians ''struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction''. Keane has since retired from Liberty Christian Ministries and written a book - Choices: One Person's Journey out of Homosexuality.

    Shaun remembers being unconvinced by Keane, who, while presenting himself as a ''former homosexual'', admitted to the group that he still had sexual thoughts about men.

    ''To be honest I didn't think it was possible,'' Shaun says of the theory that a person could change his sexual orientation. ''But I wanted to live up to the expectations.''

    At one stage during the course, Shaun was encouraged to ask a girl out on a date. He did so, not because he wanted to or thought it would work, but so he could report back in confession. On his first date, Shaun took the girl out for dinner and dropped her home. On their second date, Shaun arrived to pick her up and she invited him into her house. They sat on the couch and talked a while. As much as he tried, Shaun felt nothing. Then her brother walked in. ''I was more attracted to him than her,'' Shaun says. ''I felt a little bit guilty about that.''

    Shaun completed two of Keane's courses - each lasted three months - and says that rather than curing him of his homosexuality, the sessions helped confirm it.

    Shaun is now 35 and in a relationship with a man. It has been 14 years since he quit the ''reparative'' programs and embraced his sexuality. He was helped by a support group for gay Christians called Freedom2b. The group was founded by Anthony Venn-Brown, a former leader in the Assemblies of God who for 22 years tried to change his homosexuality through psychiatric treatment, exorcisms, ''ex-gay'' programs and 40-day fasts. Married for 16 years with two daughters, Venn-Brown eventually conceded he could not change his sexuality. He has spent the past decade helping Christians who have gone through ''ex-gay'' programs and been told they were sick, dysfunctional and abnormal.

    Venn-Brown stresses that the Australian ''ex-gay'' movement has shrunk and become more marginalised than it was when he went through homosexual ''healing'' in the 1970s. The sessions today are more in the style of confessional support groups, not dissimilar to Alcoholics Anonymous, but Venn-Brown's experience was more intense. He was assigned a ''minder'' to monitor his behaviour. The minder combed through his wardrobe to remove all ''gay-looking'' clothes such as pink socks and colourful underwear, stood outside while he showered to stop him from masturbating, and made him do more manly activities such as gardening and maintenance.

    Venn-Brown believes ''ex-gay'' programs inflict deep psychological damage, and says he will not rest until every last one has been shut down.

    ''Where are their success stories?'' he says. ''You ask them.''

    Of the three groups contacted by The Sun-Herald, only Haydn Sennitt, the pastoral worker at Liberty Christian Ministries, agreed to be interviewed. Sennitt says: ''We do not offer 'fixes' or 'cures' for homosexuality, but we do believe that it can be healed over time.''

    ''I have seen in myself and others an ability for people to overcome same-sex attraction by persistence, prayer, and patience,'' says Sennitt, who after years of living as a homosexual is now married with a child.

    As evidence, Sennitt referred The Sun-Herald to a ''quasi-experimental'' study run by researchers at Wheaton College, Illinois: Ex-Gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation. The researchers, Sennitt said, had ''studied a number of people who had overcome homosexuality over a long-term period [and] noted that about six in 10 were able to do so and that suicidal tendencies and depression were not necessarily connected to these efforts.''

    Sennitt admits psychological damage can occur when people subject themselves to unrealistic deadlines - for example, ''I will stop being gay in a year'' - but says that is not the way he treats ''unwanted homosexuality''.

    Helen Kelly, producer of a new documentary about ''ex-gay'' therapy called The Cure, says her research uncovered many participants of so-called ''reparative'' programs struggling with depression, anxiety and self-harm. ''These groups never take responsibility for the fact that some people who've been through them commit suicide,'' she says. ''They're not registered and they have no duty of care.''

    As a young gay man, Paul Martin spent two years in the 1990s with Exodus and Living Waters in Melbourne. After quitting, he became a psychologist and has treated many former reparative therapy participants.

    ''I've worked with maximum- security prisoners in Pentridge, yet the people who've been through ex-gay programs are some of the most psychologically damaged people I've seen in my life,'' Martin says. ''I have a client who went through 35 years of these programs … One of the most crushing moments was when he said, in tears, 'I've just realised that I've never known what it's like to love or be loved.'''

    Martin is especially critical of groups that point to the disproportionate rates of depression and anxiety among gay people.

    ''The irony is that they're actually creating the terrible emotional damage that leads to these statistics,'' he says.

    It is difficult to establish how widespread such programs are in Sydney, or how many churches refer congregants to groups that ''heal'' homosexuality.

    Sennitt declined to name his church partners, but it is understood he has connections within Sydney's Anglican community.

    Asked whether he supported Liberty Christian Ministries' position on the issue and the notion that homosexuality was a treatable condition, the Archbishop of Sydney, Peter Jensen, said in a statement that it was not a major issue in Anglican churches.

    He added, however, that ''where people identify that they are struggling with unwanted sexual attractions, same-sex or otherwise, it would be unreasonable not to encourage appropriate support''.

    Jensen said that in his experience, the best support was not ''therapy'' but ''friendship, love and prayer, guided by God's word. Whether or not the struggle with such unwanted feelings continues, we see all people as precious in God's sight.''

    In a July 2011 newsletter, Sennitt said he was ''establishing connections'' with Hillsong, but the church did not respond to The Sun-Herald's request for comment.

    While local ''reparative'' programs generally avoid attention, their American counterparts have been hampered by the public renouncement of dozens of former leaders and participants.

    In a statement, the Australian Psychological Society said that ''reparative therapists have not produced any rigorous scientific research to substantiate their claims of cure … APS recommends that ethical practitioners refrain from attempts to change individuals' sexual orientation.''

    When recalling the attempts of Exodus and Living Waters to turn him straight, Paul Martin laughs. Men, he says, were taught how to speak in a monotone and walk ''without swishing'' while women were encouraged to ''wear the Laura Ashley look''.

    Gay fantasies were to be suppressed by envisioning a stop sign. Both programs involved workbooks and prayer sessions.

    Martin helped lead an Exodus group but after a life-changing trip to Thailand in the mid-1990s, he decided to leave.

    Nervously, he told his co-leader, Wendy Lawson - who stunned him by revealing she was quitting, too.

    Lawson, who married her long-term girlfriend in Britain in 2007, said she was suicidal during her Exodus years, living in ''constant fear'' and feeling like an ''abomination''. Since accepting her sexuality, she says, ''life is one of fulfilment and satisfaction''.

    Shaun says while he saw others psychologically damaged by ''ex-gay'' programs, he never experienced that himself. In a way, Shaun found the sessions at Liberty Christian Ministries therapeutic. ''For loneliness,'' he says.

    Shaun had never met a gay Christian before. Suddenly, he was surrounded by them.

    Lifeline 13 11 14

    Read online:
    http://www.smh.com.au/national/healing-the-gay-worshipper-20120407-1wiav.html#ixzz1rUqVVK4Q

    If you feel that you are tormented by uwanted same-sex attraction then the answer lies in loving and accepting your true self not rejecting or self loathing. The term 'unwanted same-sex attraction' adds to the denial. It is not an attraction it is an orientation. It is far deeper than just an attraction or behaviour and is a part of your brain wiring, thought processes, hormones and behaviour. People nedd to examine the 'unwanted' part of the statement not the orientation itself.

    Before you invest the time, money, emotional energy and possibly years of your life trying to go from gay to straight, ask the ex-gay leaders what guarantee they can give you that it will work. If they are honest with you, the best they will be able to offer you as a degree of ‘heterosexual functionality’, but the gay never actually goes away. Then ask yourself what would be the best way to spend your time, money and emotional energy…..rejecting yourself or accepting yourself.

    After 22 years of trying to change including ex-gay programs, exorcisms and 16 years of marriage, I came to the realisation that loving myself was far healthier than hating and rejecting my true self. Like 1,000’s of others today, I finally discovered that I can live a wonderfully fulfilling, moral life as an openly gay man and still have my faith.
    Anthony Venn-Brown

    Oct 4, 2011

    Study supporting gay conversion challenged

    Study supporting gay conversion challenged
    October 4th, 2011 from CNN Health
    A study designed by professors from two religious universities says that some people can change their sexual orientation after undergoing years of a ministry program.
    “Evidence from the study suggested that change of homosexual orientation appears possible for some and that psychological distress did not increase on average as a result of the involvement in the change process,” wrote the authors of a study published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.
    The authors are both psychologists who work at religious universities. Stanton Jones is a psychology professor and provost at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois, and Mark Yarhouse is a professor of mental health at Regent University, in Virginia Beach, which was founded by televangelist Pat Robertson.
    Their study findings have been challenged by other researchers who say that the bulk of the existing evidence indicates that sexual orientation does not change. Gay advocacy blogs have also disputed the findings.
    Jones and Yarhouse's study followed 65 participants over a course of six to seven years as they attended Exodus Ministries, a religious program for “individuals and families impacted by homosexuality.” The individuals who attend the program seek to achieve “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ,” according to Exodus.
    “It’s a study for people who are highly religious who are distressed by the experience of attraction,” Yarhouse said. “They want to know, is it even possible? What might I experience if I go into religious-based ministry?”
    Initially, the study enrolled 98 individuals, but 35 dropped out of the program. Some who quit the study said they had been “healed of all homosexual inclinations,” and one person had re-embraced his gay identity, according to the study.
    The courses were offered in 16 locations around the United States and met in small groups, spending time in prayer and reading the Bible.
    The study authors followed "the change process" of the participants by conducting annual interviews, asking the same questions about sexual attraction, emotional or romantic infatuation and sexual fantasies. They used scales devised by sex researcher Alfred Kinsey and another measure called Shively-DeCecco scale.
    Jones and Yarhouse's hypothesis was that sexual orientation is changeable.
    After following the participants for six to seven years of the religious program, they concluded that 23% of the remaining people in the study were successful in changing their sexual orientation toward heterosexuality. And 30% turned toward chastity, which Yarhouse said was “a reduction from homosexual attraction.”
    Also, 23% did not respond to the ministry’s treatment, 20% embraced their gay sexual orientation and the remaining percent reported confusion.
    “The findings of this study appear to contradict the commonly expressed view that sexual orientation is not changeable,” the authors wrote.
    The American Psychological Association declared in 2005 that homosexuality was not changeable. The association had also stated that there was no evidence that conversion or reparative therapy aimed at changing sexual orientation was safe or effective.
    “The APA was making pretty strong statements that orientation really doesn’t change and that attempts to do so would be harmful,” said Yarhouse. “They were presenting absolutist claims about this immutability of orientation and great risk of harm. They were ideal questions for research. Can people change? Or is it truly an immutable characteristic?”
    Eli Coleman, professor and director of Human Sexuality at the University of Minnesota Medical School was skeptical about the findings.
    “We’ve been through this over and over,” he said. “You can get behavioral changes, but that’s not orientation change. You can get short-term behavioral change. It’s not sustained.”
    Yarhouse emphasized that his findings followed the participants for several years. He acknowledged that there are many in the LGBT community who find religious conversion programs “deeply offensive.” But he said there are gay people who wish to change and do not embrace the gay identity or the gay community.
    “I’d like to see mental health organizations to show greater respect for diversity for how a person chooses to live their life and live this out,” Yarhouse said.
    The study could be confusing sexual identity and sexual orientation, which are distinctly different, said Dr. Jack Drescher, an associate professor of psychiatry at New York Medical College.
    Sexual orientation refers to whom a person is attracted to, and in most cases, does not change, he said. But sexual identity is how a person feels about his or her orientation and sexual feelings, Drescher said.
    For example, a man may feel strong attraction to males, but he may not self-identify as gay. He could change the way he identifies himself, whether it’s gay or straight throughout his life. But his sexual orientation does not usually change.
    "I don’t think we have anything really new here," said Coleman. "We have known for sometime that some people are able to shift their behavior and their perception of their sexual identity through these attempts at conversion."
    Drescher said the majority of the existing scientific evidence doesn’t support the latest study's findings.
    “I think the authors have a bias and I have a bias,” Drescher said. “Everybody has a bias. That’s why we have accumulation of data – and that doesn’t support their data.”
    “There are peer-reviewed studies in the literature and the sum of all the literature does not indicate these treatments are effective,” he said. “If one study comes out that seems to contradict the bulk of the scientific research that proves that people can change - that’s interesting, can they replicate it?”
    Drescher also said that the study doesn’t explore whether bisexuality played a role in the reported sexual orientation changes.
    He disagreed with the findings that religious therapies do not harm people, saying he had several patients who blamed themselves after failing programs and fell into depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
    “They’re told it’s up to them if they don’t change,” Drescher said. “When it fails, as it fails in majority of cases, they feel like failures, after they’ve spent time and effort and money.
    “Some of these people, on the advice of therapists, get married, then they have kids. Gay people have been getting married. When they get married, they don’t change. What do they do, stay married? It’s a complicated issue.”
    Read my review of Homosexuality: The Use of Scientific Research in the Church's Moral Debate. Jones & Yarnhouse here